somebody tell me what i need to hear to keep going.

JustFuckMyLife

God I hate this feeling. The feeling that I still need you even though I hate you. The fact that I never want to see you again, but all I want to do is text your sorry ass. Every time I close my eyes and I see you fucking him even though you said you loved me. You said you would never break my heart. I guess you didn't though, you just shredded it instead. Fuck. And it makes me hate myself even more that I still miss your lips and your touch. You didn't even try to apologize or offer an explanation. Even Mike, the kid on fucking ecstasy tried harder than you and you were fucking sober. I fucking gave you my fucking heart and loved you to no end and this is how you repay me? I don't even know if I can still be your friend. I don't know if I'll be able to look you in the eye and not see the way they were closed in passion when you were with Mike. I can't look at your hair without seeing him pulling it. I can't look at you without remembering. Remembering the times that you made me smile and gave me butterflies and were my girl. And then remembering that it was all destroyed and remembering why it was all destroyed. I don't know if I hate you as much as I hate myself. I shouldn't have trusted anyone that much. I never should have become the girlfriend having guy. I allowed myself to be cheated on. At a party. Where all of our friends witnessed our breakup. I hate that I'm so torn up about this. I should be happy that I have a chance to hit on everyone. But all I want is my girl.
I've never felt so fucking betrayed before in my life. Why did this all have to happen? You said you loved me. But did that ever even mean anything to you? Because every single fucking time I told you that I meant it from the bottom of my heart. I would give you the world and I probably still would because love can't just end the way that yours did for me.
You just ruined everything that we ever had or could have had. But I still love you.
I won't let anything hurt you, darling. I fucking hope we can still fucking remain the fucking friends that we fucking were. Fuck.
Why the hell can't I just stay on one feeling instead of jumping all around like this. I just want to feel hate and the need for revenge. Not hate to myself and still love for her. Jesus.
I need someone right now.

Fuck this shit. I'm so over this fucking town. Fucking slut that fucks everyone and their mom. I should have seen it coming. Why the fuckkkk
I need to get out there.

The pictures that adri takes to make fun of me...
Summer is amazing :)