R.I.P Skye

That was my girl. Key word being was. We broke up yesterday. It was a pretty bad break up. She cried and told me she didn't mean any of the stuff she had said about me being too flirty and I had interpreted her words wrong. When she said she wasn't good enough for me she really meant it that way not the way that I had taken it. Supposedly. But that doesn't change the fact that she talked shit on me to her friends. And I've never talked shit on her until the last couple of days AFTER finding out that she was talking shit on me. I'll never get over the fact that she was beautiful. And that I took that picture. And that it was the best one ever taken of her. She begged me to not to do what I was doing and that she would change for me. But if she had to CHANGE herself and just the fact that she considered changing herself for a fucking highschool boyfriend was a huge turnoff for me. The hardest part was just seeing the tears falling from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks ending by rolling on the lips I had just touched with mine the day before. I think she was the first girl I ever loved.

She kept reminding me about all the good times we had. The snow angels. Our first dance. Our first kiss. Our first date. Walking her to class. The deep conversations we had at night. The texts saved on her phone. The texts she had sent to me. The time we both dressed up to go to school. When we had to pick Mike up when he was drunk. When I wiped her tears away. When she helped me pass Latin roots. When she saw me cry. And then. Our last kiss.

I just let her know that it wasn't working. She just stood there still holding my hand. Then the few soft tears and she asked how long I had been planning that and what she had done wrong. I told her the truth and she started crying harder. And it made my heart break. Even more than it already was. It was the hardest thing to pull my hand away when it was obvious she was at her lowest of lows.

And I still feel like shit that I was an asshole enough to pull my hand away and to walk away while the tears were still falling. I think she was the first girl I loved. Her name was Skye and I'll never forget.